8/06/2019

Kama Ulikuwa Hujui Unaambiwa Ugomvi ni Afya kwenye Mapenzi..Soma Hapa



Ukimuuliza binti yeyote akutajie mambo 10 asiyopenda kusikia au kuyaona katika ndoa yake, mojawapo litakuwa ni ugomvi. Ugomvi unaumiza, kiakili na kimwili. Ugomvi si ustaarabu, zaidi sana ugomvi si haki !! Kuna ugomvi wa hoja, kuna ugomvi wa ngumi mbili tatu mambo yawe sawa, kuna ugomvi wa ukimya! Vyovyote uwavyo, ugomvi si neno jema, halina ladha kwa wapendanao!!!

Kama ulikuwa ukifikiria kuwa ugomvi katika mahusiano ni jambo baya basi umekosea sana! Kama ukikutana na wanandoa wakakuambia hawakuwahi kugombana au kutofautiana katika ndoa yao, ama wanakutania tu au wape pole! Ugomvi katika mahusiano una maana zifuatazo;

UGOMVI UNA MAANA MNAPENDANA
Wanasaikolojia Bruce na John katika kitabu chao cha Language of love, wanasema, kama wawili wanapendana kweli, lazima wagombane! Wanagombana kwa sababu kila mmoja anatetea sehemu ya pili isiende pengine, anailinda, anaionea wivu. Hivyo kugombana na pengine kugombezwa ni ushahidi kuwa ndani yenu mnahitajiana na mnapendana kwa hiari.

UGOMVI HUTIBU MATATIZO YA HISIA (HEALTHIER EMOTIONS)
Wanandoa/Wachumba wasiotofautiana na kugombana mara kadhaa basi ni wazi hisia za kimapenzi baina yao zinaumwa! Hapo kuna misongo ya mawazo, kuna kulimbikiza maudhi sio upole huo, kuna hasira inayosubiri kulipuka.. Upendo wenye afya huonekana kwa hisia za wazi.

KUGOMBANA NI KUONESHA KUJALI (CARE)
Hapa ntatofautiana wengi wanaofikiri kuwa kumjali mwenza ni kumtoa out, kumpa maua, kumnyoshea shati, kumpa zawadi, surprise n.k Kugombana ni zawadi ambayo wanandoa vijana wengi hawaijui uzuri wake. Kuwa na mahusiano yaliyopoa kabisa kuna gharama zake, wengi hushituka mambo yalishaharibika. Mwanasaikolojia George R. Bach na Peter Wyden katika kitabu chao cha 'How to fight fair in love' wanasema '...we have discovered that couples who fight together are couples who stay together- provided they know how to fight properly..."

Ugomvi wa wachumba huhusu zaidi mavazi, simu, mwonekano, hitaji la watoto,namna ya kutumia starehe n.k
Ugomvi wa wanandoa wengi huhusu zaidi pesa, watoto, wakwe, ndugu, majukumu, tendo la ndoa n.k
Ugomvi wa wanandoa wazee huhusu wajukuu, watoto wao wakubwa, ibaada n.k

TAHADHARI
Sijaruhusu kupigana makonde, unaweza kupigana na mwenza kwa kutumia akili nyingi pasipo kutumia nguvu nyingi. Ugomvi mzuri ni ule unaoleta suluhu mapema na usipigane kuwapa wengine faida.

Be brave!
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